Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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