If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I understand Curling. That high.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
