AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
