the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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