hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
