Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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