Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
