mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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