proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
