ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.