just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
