Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
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I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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