I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
