i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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