You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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