the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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