the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
