guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
only you would photoshop your dick
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
