i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
