this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
