We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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