Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
