i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
