I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
sex in a hospital.. check
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
