I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
