I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
