it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
