My room smells like vodka and shame
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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