He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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