His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I love you.
Bad choice
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