She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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