I can tuck mytits in my pants
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
