I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
