Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize