I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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