Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
