i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize