lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
These tits shall not be calmed
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
