Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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