I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
