We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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