In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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