last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
