is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
