i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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