return my video game
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize