don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
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