The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
