I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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