By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
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Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
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I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop