i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER