feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.