He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
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You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
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Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.