like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
