He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
