I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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