She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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