Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
