We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
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I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
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maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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