Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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