Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
you never un-have a 4some
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
