In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
