so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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