How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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